When you haven’t drank anything all day and you finally have a glass of cold water and it hits your thirstussy:

A lot of stuff filtering through this blog, everything from jokes and irony to gaining pics. Please feel free to ask me anything!! PS: I'm hella gay.

Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.
Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.
Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.
Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.
Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.
There are million dollar blockbuster movies that were less entertaining than the rollercoaster this post just took me on.
my mom: it’s really not good to eat past sunset
me, whose circadian rhythms have aligned with a nearby raccoon’s: your rules don’t apply here
